Brace Yourself, Mercury’s In Retrograde: Your Weekly Horoscopes For July 23-27 Betches

Mercury returns to retrograde on July 25. A little refresher: Mercury has power over your mind, your ideas, and mental energy. A planet being in retrograde just means that it appears to be moving backwards. When a planet is in retrograde, you experience the energy of the planet in a more subjective, internal way. Since your experience of the planet’s energy is very unique to you, you’ll experience Mercury’s wrath differently than someone in a different sign. Check your horoscopes to see how Mercury f*cks you up this time around. Here are your weekly horoscopes for July 23-27:

Aries

Mercury retrograde attracts old flames back to your world. At the beginning of the week, things will seem normal. Your life will be fun and happy. Therefore, you’ll be off your guard when an “I miss you text” rolls into your iMessage. Stay strong, betch. Resist the urge to reminisce on only the good times and also remember the sex was just average. K?

Taurus

An upswing in your mood happens this week when things fall into place for you romantically. A few more Hinge matches, a great date, or a DTR that went the way you wanted will have you believing in love again. Mercury’s retrograde in Leo, though, means drama with an ex or a never-was from the past could bring you crashing back down from cloud 9.

Gemini

Things are really fast-paced for you over the next month. You’re busy gallivanting around, traveling, vacationing, and staying occupied with work or whatever. Because Mercury is your ruler, transportation hiccups are a classic curse for you during this time. Prepare for delayed trains, roadblocks, and late arrivals. You can blame TSA or MTA or whomever tf. Still, it’s probably best you get out the door early and make sure you don’t leave your car on E.

Cancer

The Sun is in Leo in your possessive house. So, yeah, your jealous side could really be coming out while Mercury is in retrograde. Avoid stalking your ex unless you want to spend an entire night trying to figure out who the ugly brunette was sitting next to him in his Insta story. Damn boys and their inability to tag people! Ugh. Try just focusing on yourself, and don’t feel bad if you have to block someone for your own sanity.

Leo

Happy Birthday month, Leo! It kind of makes sense that during the month where you’re supposed to receive the most attention, other signs are distracted with Mercury in retrograde. That’s your curse. You’ll feel like you’re fighting for spotlight in a time when it should just be a given. Let your friends deal with their own sh*t. When they realize they weren’t totally obsessed with you on your birthday, they’ll feel guilty and try to make up for it.

Virgo

I’m so sorry, Virgo. This Mercury in retrograde is going to be a rough one. The Sun is hidden in your chart, meaning you’ll want to retreat during a time when you could really use the support of your friends. Even when you find the energy to lean on someone else, they might not give you the response you’re looking for since they’re distracted with their own stuff. Try to keep your head up. Look forward to a much better birthday month ahead.

Libra

You’re super social in general, and this month you’ll be even more chatty and amiable. That’s great. Everyone will want you on their team since you’re not acting like Mercury in retrograde has totally ruined your life. Of course, a lot of people will come to you seeing support and cheering up. Try not to be resentful of this gift of joy you’ve been given. It’s not your fault you’re so popular, it’s your sign’s.

Scorpio

The Sun at the top of your chart casts you in a flattering light. Some might be jealous of you for looking like you have it all together while Mercury is in retrograde. Just remind them that you’re human too, and Mercury had a role in deleting your last iCloud backup or making your nail salon busy when you’re super chipped. You might not be getting the worst of it, but keep that on the DL so your friends don’t hate you forever for being so #blessed.

Sagittarius

The Sun in fun-loving Leo in your house of adventure means you’re on the quest for new experiences. Try a new workout class you keep seeing your friends do on your social feeds. Branch out at a wine tasting so you know what to order when there’s no rosé on the menu. Swipe on a guy that might be a little off-brand for you. Whatever you do, head for the new and avoid the old. You’re likely to backslide into old bad habits and beds when Mercury is in retrograde.

Capricorn

You’re passionate and intense this week. Normally, that’s great. But with Mercury in retrograde, you might lose the part of you that knows where to draw the line. You’re likely to lose friends and alienate people with your strong beliefs and opinions this month if you’re not careful. If you can’t bite your tongue, at least be quick to buy the next round. Your friends won’t remember they’re pissed at you if they blackout, right?

Aquarius

With the Sun directly opposite your sign, you’ll need more sleep to recharge. Still, the Sun pulls you toward people who make you comfortable. Mercury in retrograde draws you toward the past. That’s a dangerous combination when you go back to the guy who bores you but makes you feel safe. You’ll return that bro to the back burner when your batteries are recharged next month.

Pisces

The Sun shifting signs into Leo changes things for you pretty drastically. Even though summer is far from over, your focus will shift from fun, parties, and recreation back to more serious matters. *Sigh* At least you’ll be motivated to get back on track. You’ll feel the need to start regularly going to the gym again and eating fruit that didn’t come served to you in a glass of alcohol. All good things must come to an end.

Images: Giphy (6)

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